Journey to the soul

What is it that looks out from within the fragile sheath that is our skin? Who is it that looks back at us in the mirror?

Have you ever experienced that slightly scary moment when you suddenly became aware that there is someone else in the room, so to speak? It's a bit like being seen naked by a stranger. Unsure what to do, where to look or what to say, most people cover up the truth as quickly as possible, shoving the soul back down to the dark.

Which is a shame, as for sure it is the best part of all of us. It is who we [really] are, and yet we race to cover it up for shame that 'someone' might discover our act is not real. That someone may even be yourself.

Most of go through life without a clear map. As children, many of us are given, what might appear to be, a good map by our parents or teachers, only to discover during a mid life crisis, that we have been following the wrong map. It's not a good place to be.

It's a gloomy day when you reach fifty and realise that you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing, and worse, having no idea what that is. Many people, at this point, admit defeat, pontificating that they are too old, too tired, too comfortable [or uncomfortable] to start changing the route. It's why people stay in dead end jobs, put up with rubbish relationships and never reach for the stars.

I believe that it's never too late! It's certainly not easy, indeed it can be pretty uncomfortable for a while, but I just know that it is worth it.

Just lately, my soul has been popping by a lot more recently. It usually manifests itself during a transaction with another person, or a group of people. I will say or do something and think, 'that wasn't me'. But it was, and the oddest thing about it is that the me that isn't me is better than what I thought was the real me.

My soul is funnier, charming, entertaining, inspirational, motivational, fearless, more physically active and daring and is has an element of free speaking that has a delightful childlike quality about it.

Up until now, it appears that I can't call 'it' up at will which, quite frankly, is annoying. But what I have noticed is that it is happier to come out [or is it me letting it out] when I am around people that I feel emotionally safe with.

I guess that nots surprising really is it? As children we learn, by a process of trial and error, how not to be humilated by others and what to do and what to say to reduce risk of being hurt. We define and develop our act, adding layers of protection day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year, until our childlike innocence and wonder has gone. We have become cynical.

Maybe you don't think you are cynical, and maybe that's the wrong word. But if life no longer holds magic and mystery for you, then you have developed the cynicism of adulthood, the cynicism that glues the soul to the inside for eternity.

Discovering magic has nothing to do with fantasy. I just had a moment of magic right now. The open fire is crackling warmly. My old black dog is standing on the hearth looking for more heat, and my young black dog sat up on the settee and looked wistfully out of the window, 'it's getting late mom, are we going to get a walk today?' was what her hopeful look said to me.

Following the magic is acting instinctively, going with the flow of the moment. So I am off to don jackets, waterproofs and wellies and I am off to the fields.

Come back for more.